Some Deep Thoughts...

The other day as I was "Gchatting" with Matt Hunt, he brought up a really good point that I can't seem to get out of my head. While it’s not a new point, it hit me at the exact moment that I was experiencing similar thoughts, hence why it resonated with me. What is it about our culture that we feel like we have to accomplish everything right away? Why is it that at 23, I get mini-panic attacks that I haven’t done enough yet? From the outside, it looks like I’ve done an amazing amount in my 23 years. I mean in the past two years I’ve studied at the University of Edinburgh, travelled throughout Europe, attended the Olympics, had an internship in NYC, had an amazing senior year both socially and academically, graduated with honors and the history prize, and moved to the other side of the world, by myself. Yet, there are often times when I’m walking down the street or reading an article when all of the sudden my heart will start to beat really fast, and in that instant I start to lose my normal confidence in myself. I think, ok well you’ve had all these amazing experiences. You are really fortunate to have been given such amazing opportunities, now what are you going to do with it? How are YOU going to make a lasting, positive difference in this world?
I have yet to get closer to figuring it out, but maybe that’s not the problem. Maybe figuring it out is the fun part. I learned early on it’s the journey that’s the best part. Amber and I got lost for 2 hours going to Westport. I’m sure we had a great time when we arrived at our destination, but it’s the journey I remember, and will always remember. I’m loving my journey so far, I have made, and continue to make amazing friendships. I am learning an immense amount about looking at others, and the world from variety of angles. Since I’m still in the midst of this particular journey it is too early to tell what exactly I’m getting from it, but I hope that come May I will have learned to deal with that “panicky” feeling of not accomplishing enough just yet in healthy way. I hope that I will have gained the necessary perspective to be able to step back and realize I still have a heck of a lot more ahead of me, in terms of time and more importantly, opportunity to use my experiences to make that lasting and positive impression on the world.